Universal Mentors Association

50 Disney Jokes for the Disnerd in All of Us

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I’m a sucker for Disney, which means Disney jokes are right up my alley. Most kids are big Disney enthusiasts too, so why not brighten their day with one of these magical zingers? Princesses, pirates, and anthropomorphic mice—you gotta love it!

Best Disney Jokes for Kids

1. What happened the first time Mickey saw Minnie?

It was glove at first sight.

2. How did Mickey save Minnie?

What happened the first time Mickey saw Minnie?

He gave her mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

3. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?

Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? So he could visit Pluto.

So he could visit Pluto.

4. What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite holiday?

What is Mickey Mouse's favorite holiday?

New Ears Eve.

5. What is Mickey’s favorite treat?

What is Mickey's favorite treat? Mice cream. New Ears Eve.

Mice cream.

6. What time does Donald Duck wake up?

What time does Donald Duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

At the quack of dawn.

7. What should you do if Donald throws a ball at you?

What should you do if Donald throws a ball at you? Duck!- Disney jokes

Duck!

8. What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick?

What does Daisy Duck say when she buys lipstick? Put it on my bill.

Put it on my bill.

9. Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?

Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day? Because the carton said “concentrate."

Because the carton said “concentrate.”

10. Why does Goofy wear two pairs of pants when playing golf?

Why does Goofy wear two pairs of pants when playing golf? In case he gets a hole in one.- Disney jokes

In case he gets a hole in one.

11. What is Clarabelle’s favorite party game?

What is Clarabelle's favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs.

Moo-sical chairs.

12. Why do Texas baseball fans love Chip & Dale?

Why do Texas baseball fans love Chip & Dale? They’ve been known to Rescue Rangers.

They’ve been known to Rescue Rangers.

13. What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos?

What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos? Some day my prints will come.- Disney jokes

“Some day my prints will come.”

14. Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?

Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs? Six out of seven of them aren’t Happy.

Six out of seven of them aren’t Happy.

15. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? She keeps running away from the ball.

She keeps running away from the ball.

16. Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?

Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing? The Lost-and-Flounder Department.

The Lost-and-Flounder Department.

17. What does Ariel like on her toast?

What does Ariel like on her toast? Mermalade.- Disney jokes

Mermalade.

18. How does the ocean greet Moana?

How does the ocean greet Moana? It waves.

It waves.

19. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? She'll let it go!

She’ll let it go!

20. Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?

Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

Because a cold never bothered her anyway.

21. Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them all the letters of the alphabet?

Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them all the letters of the alphabet? Because they got lost at C!

Because they got lost at C!

22. What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum?

What happens when Olaf throws a temper tantrum? He has a meltdown.- Disney jokes

He has a meltdown.

23. Why did Sven try to eat Olaf’s nose?

Why did Sven try to eat Olaf's nose? Because he doesn't carrot all.

Because he doesn’t carrot all.

24. What does Tiana say to a friend she is meeting for coffee?

What does Tiana say to a friend she is meeting for coffee? I’m almost there!

I’m almost there!

25. Which Disney princess would make the best judge?

Which Disney princess would make the best judge? Snow White—the fairest of them all!

Snow White—the fairest of them all!

26. Who’s the funniest Disney princess?

Who's the funniest Disney princess? RaPUNzel.- Disney jokes

RaPUNzel.

27. Which Disney princess is a cow’s favorite?

Which Disney princess is a cow’s favorite? Moo-lan.

Moo-lan.

28. Why did the Disney princess get arrested?

Why did the Disney princess get arrested? They thought she was someone Elsa.

They thought she was someone Elsa.

29. What’s the scariest Disney movie?

What's the scariest Disney movie? Poca-“haunt us."

Poca-“haunt us.”

30. Why is Gaston the smartest villain?

Why is Gaston the smartest villain? He won the No-Belle prize.- Disney jokes

He won the No-Belle prize.

31. Why can’t you trust Scar?

Why can’t you trust Scar? Because he's lion.

Because he’s lion.

32. What would make Scar a better lion?

What would make Scar a better lion? If he were a little more Simba-thetic.

If he were a little more Simba-thetic.

33. How do you keep Pumbaa from charging you?

How do you keep Pumbaa from charging you? Take away his credit cards.

Take away his credit cards.

34. What does Aladdin say when he sneezes?

What does Aladdin say when he sneezes? Ahhh-bu!- Disney jokes

Ahhh-bu!

35. What is Hercules’ least favorite car?

What is Hercules’ least favorite car? Mers–Hades.

Mers–Hades.

36. Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes?

Why is Quasimodo great at solving crimes? He always has a hunch.

He always has a hunch.

37. Why can’t Peter Pan stop flying?

Why can't Peter Pan stop flying? He Neverlands.

He Neverlands.

38. What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?

What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele? Hello, it’s Smee.- Disney jokes

Hello, it’s Smee.

39. Where did Captain Hook go to change his hook?

Where did Captain Hook go to change his hook? The second-hand store.

The second-hand store.

40. Why does Alice ask so many questions?

Why does Alice ask so many questions? Because she's in Wonderland.

Because she’s in Wonderland.

41. What did the 101 dalmatians say after eating dinner?

What did the 101 dalmatians say after eating dinner? That hit the spot.- Disney jokes

That hit the spot.

42. Which Disney character can count the highest?

Which Disney character can count the highest? Buzz Lightyear—to infinity and beyond.

Buzz Lightyear—to infinity and beyond.

43. Why did Woody give Bullseye cough syrup?

Why did Woody give Bullseye cough syrup? Because he was feeling horse.

Because he was feeling horse.

44.  Did you hear about Nemo’s adventures when he went into battle?

Did you hear about Nemo’s adventures when he went into battle? He got caught behind anemone lines.- Disney jokes

He got caught behind anemone lines.

45. How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced?

How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to have his ears pierced? A buck-an-ear.

A buck-an-ear.

46. Why did the cookie go to see Doc McStuffins?

Why did the cookie go to see Doc McStuffins? Because it was feeling crumby.

Because it was feeling crumby.

47. What does Lil Jon say when he goes to Disneyland?

What does Lil Jon say when he goes to Disneyland? Turn down for WALT!- Disney jokes

Turn down for WALT!

48. Why did the croissants take the doughnuts and bagels to Disneyland?

Why did the croissants take the doughnuts and bagels to Disneyland? They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

49. How cold was it at Disney World?

How cold was it at Disney World? So cold that Donald Duck was wearing pants.

So cold that Donald Duck was wearing pants.

50. Which body part loves theme parks?

Which body part loves theme parks? Dis-knee.- Disney jokes

Dis-knee.

What are your favorite Disney jokes for kids? Share them in the comments below!

Want even more jokes for your students? We’ve got them on numerous topics including math jokes, history jokes, science jokes, grammar jokes, and music jokes.

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Don't miss these hilarious Disney jokes all about Mickey, Minnie, the princesses, and all your other favorite Disney characters!



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